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From the Mind of A Man: Why is there a double standard regarding sex?

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Dear MOAM,

I got one for you. I met this guy. He claims he is unable to find a nice woman and that the few women he has met have asked him to have a “relationship for profit”.

This is where he loses my sympathy: We have not really dated or spent much time together but he keeps pressuring me to be intimate. I have pretty much written him off after explaining several times that I am pretty old school and like to get to know someone before jumping into bed with them.

My question is, am I old fashioned (I’m in my mid-60s) or is this man treating women like sex objects and getting mad because the ones who are up to the challenge tell him he has to pay for play?

NOT A PLAYTHING

Dear Not a Plaything,

No, you are not old fashioned. With the little information you provided, I can’t say if he’s treating the women like objects if they themselves are requesting money from him before they give up the goods. On the surface, it would appear they are treating him like an ATM. But all that is irrelevant with regards to you giving up the goods to him. If you don’t want to sleep with him, stand your ground and send him packing.

Dear MOAM,

So many men sleep with women and most times it’s only one specific female who gets the sleepovers and the wining and dining. I feel when a man does things like this, along with going out in public together all the time, they are a couple. But the male still says he’s single. This is very confusing. What is the definition of single from a man’s perspective?

HE’S NOT SINGLE

Dear He’s Not Single,

A man will consider himself single until the ‘right woman’ comes along who makes him want to hang up his boots and settle down. A woman can do all of the ‘wifey’ duties for a man, but if he’s not ready to be in a relationship, then he won’t be no matter how good the cooking is or how great the sex is. I was with a woman for about five years but I never considered her to be my girlfriend or us being a relationship. The sex was GREAT, I just didn’t see myself being in a relationship with her….at the time.

Dear MOAM,
I met a guy and we slept together on the first night. I have no regrets and want to be with him. We’ve now been sleeping together for a few months and I brought up the idea of us being an official couple. He said that he wasn’t sure because of how soon we slept together. I think this is nonsense.

I didn’t sleep with myself. Why do men have such double standards?

CONFUSED

Dear Confused

Because we can! It’s not right, it’s not fair but that’s the way it is. If it makes you feel any better, I hate that double standard we are born with. I slept with my girlfriend on our second date and we’ve been together for ten years now.

Now that you know what he’s thinking and what he thinks about you (HINT: he thinks you are a hoe), what are you going to do about it? Will you continue having sex with him or will you bounce?

If you have a question for the Mind of A Man, email shehubtv@gmail.com.

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