Peter Vidmar, an American Olympic gymnast, said, “Don’t sacrifice what you want most for what you want now.”
While it is a great quote, it is easier said than done.
I think I spent the early years of my life living for the NOW. Not smart and I definitely paid for it in the end with some ridiculous gotta have it now DEBT, but I’m better for it. As women, I think we are living in a great time. We are empowered to live in our truth and go after what we want. We can seize opportunities or create our own.It hasn’t always been like this. It’s been ingrained in us since day one that the only way to thrive is through self-preservation, do whatever we have to do, by any means necessary to get and stay ahead. These last few weeks, I have been looking at how scarcity has played out in my life. Thinking from a place of lack is a killer of dreams. How many times have you said I would do that, but I don’t have the funds instead of how can I get the funds?
A scarcity mindset is a belief that there will never be enough. As a result, your actions stem from a place of lack. You always find yourself competing for available resources, even when there isn’t a shortage.
I wanted to share three areas where I believe we settle because of a scarcity mindset. We don’t actually think these things are available to us. Later, I’ll share 5 ways to flip the switch and create an abundance mindset.
Scarcity in Connection
I read an article a few weeks ago about how women are struggling to find authentic relationships as they get older. I’ve always had more male friends than female friends, but recently I have questioned the why behind that. It’s been great to say I keep my circle small, but what I have been missing out on in doing that. Have I self-imposed limitations about the type of friends I deserve to have? It is interesting to me because there are so many amazing women walking this earth, which means the possibilities are vast for building authentic relationships.
On the other side of this, what about the toxic friendships we stay in. You know, the ones that are so one-sided.
You’re pretty sure they don’t even know your number anymore. The friendships when you are the one always giving, always calling, always listening, and lending the shoulder to cry on. There is scarcity thinking here because you deserve more. Sure, it’s understandable wanting to hold on to friendships, that you’ve had for years. But really, how does it make you feel and how does it serve you. You continue to be drawn to this friendship because you have unfilled desires around finding real supportive connections.
If you are struggling in this area, how can you position yourself to connect with genuine people? Where can you go? How can you find them? Hint hint…the Women’s Empowerment Summit Group on Facebook may be just what you need.
Scarcity in Relationships
I know you’ve heard the saying, “There are no good men left.”
Scarcity says there is a short supply of eligible men. That mentality can cause you to settle for a man who isn’t going to treat you the way you desire to be treated. This can also cause a woman to go after a man who is already married or in a relationship. You may see a man who treats his woman good and you decide your life is lacking that type of man. Meanwhile, there are many other men out there who can satisfy this need, but you are too focused on an attached man. There is no short supply of men, it just may mean changing your tactics.
Scarcity in Business
Have you ever felt like there wasn’t enough for you to compete? I just so happen to own a company in an industry that is dominated by many big players. Much larger than mine. It is easy to say they have more resources and talent and can offer a greater scope of services. While at first, these may look like weaknesses, I choose to focus on my strengths and opportunities.
Scarcity makes us think about our business in terms of our competition. You are not your competition, you are so much more. Have you ever been in a salon and your hairstylist runs out of conditioner, and the stylist in the booth right next to her doesn’t let her borrow any, that’s scarcity? You don’t have to like them to want them to win.
What is the one thing you value about your business? The one thing that would make you buy from yourself. While I’m not the biggest, I know I build wonderful authentic relationships with all my clients. Whether you have a business or thinking of starting one, start by deciding what makes you wonderfully you.
As sisters, we need to start supporting one another, that comes from understanding that we can have the same business as someone and they are not our competition. What you add to your business is uniquely from you, and no one can take that from you.
Five steps to an abundance mindset
1. Create a journal. Carry a little pocket notebook when you hear scarcity show up, take note of it. I can’t, I don’t have enough (time/money), I’ll never be as happy as her.
2. Write a new positive rule. I have enough time, I can always create the time I need, there is opportunity in everything, I choose happiness because it comes from within. There is more than enough for everyone.
3. Focus on gratitude, there are so many things to be grateful for. If you can’t think of anything, watch the news, that should spawn more than enough ideas.
4. Celebrate other people. There is absolutely nothing wrong when we all win. Celebrate your competition, get excited about other people’s successes, and watch how it feeds your soul to want to achieve your own success.
5. Anne Frank said, “No one ever became poor by giving.”
People that don’t give tend to think if they give, they will lack something. An abundance mindset says you’ll always have what you need so why hold on to it.
I believe you have enough time, talents, and resources for you to thrive in your purpose and live a fully satisfying life, but it starts with changing what you believe is available to you.
Telanna is a businesswoman and personal excellence coach. Through her free resources and personal coaching, she helps moms manage their time effectively so can live out their purpose, by permitting themselves to do what they love. Find her on your favourite social media platform @escapeyourmess.