Recently, I was offended. Highly offended. Not necessarily because of what someone said to me, but more so that they offended my 18-year-old daughter. We’ve all had moments where we’ve said something to make us put our foot in our mouth, but when one feels the need to express their opinion without any thought of how their words may impact someone negatively, it’s another story.
As I reflect on this situation, in some weird self-righteous way, I believe they really felt that they were being well-meaning, but what they didn’t realise what that their words cut through my child. I didn’t even know she was mad…maybe because I was shocked that they actually had the gumption to vocalise their unsolicited comment about “how she should be better than her mother”.
When we got outside, she was expressed how disgusted she was with the opinion that was pushed at her and how she kept her mouth closed instead of responding how she wanted to. I was proud that she is not how I was at 18!!
Later on, as we sat down to lunch, I started to get angry as we continued to talk about the offensive comment…like why do people have the insatiable need to impart their opinions on people that they did not ask for. Yes, we are all used to whispers, because let’s face it, everybody always has something to say (and it’s always the most about what they know the least about. Trust me I know!).
As I was sharing this with a friend, who was enraged that such a comment could be made, much less in the presence of my child, she asked me why didn’t I say anything.
Insert my biggest recent life lesson here.
Not every battle needs to be a war. I let people show me who they are and accept it. And I choose to deal with them on my terms after that.
So dear reader, let me ask you this. Why do you feel that it’s imperative that your hurtful judgement of someone be heard…all with a smile on your face? Do you really think that you are helping someone by doing this? What would you expect your objective to be? Because nine times out of 10, you are achieving zilch and what you are actually doing is creating a bad taste in peoples’ mouths. All because you were intent to have your voice heard.
We have to do better.
Need to drop me a line, email firstname.lastname@example.org. Follow me on Twitter @carlazuill, and Instagram @theoriginalcarlazuill