You’ve recently walked away from an unhealthy relationship, now what? For the past few years you have been involved in a committed relationship that has challenged you to question yourself. You have spent countless hours questioning whether or not you should stay and try to work it out, or walk away. You may have changed the way you dress, hairstyle, social environments, telephone number, meal plan and/or goals. You no longer have those friendships that were once dear to you. The relationship between family and friends may need work; and you might have quit your job and/or school. Now what?
Firstly, it may be a great idea to do some soul searching. Who am I? What do I want? These are just a few of the questions you may want to ponder before searching for a new relationship. You may need to make a few telephone calls, house visits or lunch arrangements to rectify those family and friendships that became strained once you immersed yourself into that relationship.
After leaving a failed relationship, and the one your love, it is a very common behaviour to run into the next pair of open arms that initially make you feel better about yourself. However, this can often be a recipe for disaster; losing further control of self and or those meaningful relationships.
What should one do if they have recently walked away from an unhealthy relationship and/or is contemplating leaving?
1. Have a plan: It is very common for individuals to walk away from an unhealthy relationship without knowing what they could and should do next
2. Support: Remember, you have been accustomed to a certain routine for the past however long so having that person to hold you accountable for or share your goals, dreams and desires is a sure way of achieving them
3. Take one day at a time: As women, we are programmed to walk into Monday, already thinking and planning for Friday. While it is very important to plan ahead, one who has left any relationship knows that we can think about the what ifs, ands, and buts that we could have done to make that unhealthy relationship work.
4. Remember your “Why”.
In closing, I want to encourage all of you who may have recently left, or remain in a contemplative state, that your instincts are right. Trust them.
All the best,
Tina is the founder of Under Konstruction and the Perfect Partnership Program. She coaches women (and healthy couples), towards living their best life.
She believes that having a great partnership gives you the added strength in life to become the most powerful version of you to present to the world. He may not be perfect for you, but he is a perfect fit for me!
Tina is a certified Relationship Coach, trained Domestic Violence Facilitator and Advocate.