Health & Beauty
Let’s discuss orgasms…oh my!
How many different ways can you say orgasm? Vulval ejaculation, jizzing, cumming, squirting, and then it’s whatever you call it during your most euphoric moments. Vulva owners can experience clitoral, G-spot, A-spot and/or cervical orgasms with clitoral being by far the most common (75-80% of vulva owners need clitoral stimulation in order to orgasm).
I’m not being funny, but do you know how to find your clitoris? Believe it or not, some vulva owners do not. If you grab yourself a mirror and take a look at your vulva, the clitoris (the hood and glans) is located where the labia minora meet at the top. There can be great diversity in the size and shape of the external clitoral structure and get this—it’s the only organ in the human body that exists solely for pleasure – sorry penis owners!
It contains about 8,000 nerve endings, more than double that of a penis, and when stimulated, blood fills the spongy tissue of the clitoral structure and you guessed it, the clitoris becomes erect and can swell up to about 200% of its normal size. Erections aren’t just for penis owners! Here’s another clitoris fun fact – it is like an iceberg. While the glans and hood are visible to the eye, there is a whole internal structure that can range up to about five inches in size (quite similar in fact to the size of an average erect penis). Who knew?!
In recent years, there has become a fascination with vulval ejaculation and in particular the ability to squirt. There are two types of vulval ejaculation – one is ejaculatory fluid which tends to be similar in colour to semen and is produced in smaller amounts and squirting fluid which is slightly alkaline and clear and is produced in greater quantities.
Say it with me – squirt is not pee, but because of the location of the G-spot, stimulation of this area may make you feel like you need to pee, so some people prefer taking a trip to the bathroom before getting down with their ‘G’. The Skene’s glands are thought to be responsible for producing squirt, which is expelled through the urethra. If during orgasm you tighten your pelvic floor muscles (which most people do), the squirting fluid can actually travel back up into your bladder rather than being expelled. The trick is to relax these muscles if you so wish to give squirting a go. Squirt can be a dribble or a gush of liquid unlike what you may have seen in mainstream porn, that features mass quantities of fluid being shot at top speed across the room.
Most vulva owners have the ability to ejaculate, but whether they do or don’t is not indicative of whether that person enjoyed a sexual encounter, has had many partners or is a ‘freak in the sheets’.
And, hey partners, even if your partner has squirted, don’t go giving yourself a pat on the back or high fives all around. Squirting can simply be a physical response to stimulation of an area rather than a pleasurable experience for the vulva owner.
Ejaculation can occur without an orgasm, just as the goal of sex should not be an orgasm. Some vulva owners have never experienced orgasm from solo or partnered play, but that does not mean they have not enjoyed the experience.
If you do want to give squirting a go here are a few tips:
• Squirting is thought to be triggered by stimulation of the G-spot or internal clitoral structure. This area is covered in nerve endings unlike the vaginal canal which has very few (can you imagine how much more painful childbirth would be if it did?!)
• The G-spot is located about two and a half inches inside the vaginal canal towards the outer vaginal wall (toward the belly button). If using fingers to stimulate this area, it can feel slightly spongy.
• Making a ‘come hither’ motion with fingers or toys is the best way to reach this area.
• It can take up to 30 minutes of stimulation to ejaculate, so relax and enjoy the ‘ride’.
Vulval ejaculation has certainly been sensationalised – those who don’t wonder why they can’t and put pressure on themselves to squirt. For some vulva owners, ejaculating can be pleasurable, but others may experience shame or embarrassment because we have been taught that sex should be clean and squirting may feel more like wetting the bed rather than a natural bodily response to stimulation.
It is perfectly normal if you do or do not ejaculate and either way there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. With any consensual sexual activity, pleasure is always the goal and how each body experiences that is normal, unique and beautiful!
Elisha Miller is a sex educator and Director of 5 Circles Bermuda, which provides modern and inclusive sex positive education and awareness through discussions, workshops and events. Follow 5 Circles Bermuda on Instagram.