Loyalty over passion

Gotcha!

So, I know you are probably thinking loyalty over passion, choosing the man that gives you love, stability, and a little smoke over the man that ignites your fire. Honestly, if the tables were turned, I would be looking pretty confused too.

That is another topic that we will have to table for another day as exciting as it is. When I threw out the subject of passion over loyalty, I was referring to the relationship that women have with the two.

Let me take you back a bit.

A few weeks ago, I was home watching a movie with my family, Crazy Rich Asians.
Have you seen it? If you haven’t, I’ll try not to throw any spoilers in here. It was a pretty good chick flick, but I hear the book, which I believe was a best seller, is even better. I honestly had no clue that it was a thing.

Anyway, there is a young Chinese man who attends college in the United States, and he meets a Chinese-American woman with whom he falls in love. He takes the woman, his girlfriend, home to Singapore, to attend a family wedding, at which time the opportunity presents itself for her to meet the family including his mother and grandmother.

That’s all you’re going to get out of me, no spoilers here. There was one scene in the movie that caught my attention and got me thinking about the idea of loyalty over passion.

The family is sitting at the dinner table and the mother of the Chinese man, asks the girlfriend about her career. She explained that she was a professor of economics at the college level and how she was passionate about her choice of a profession.

In a later scene, the mother recounts the sacrifices she made to be a part of the family, telling the girlfriend that she will never be enough for her son because American’s love to follow their passion whereas Chinese people were loyal first.

Then, time stood still for me.

I was taken aback by this comment because as women we often think we have to choose between loyalty to our family or a desire to follow our dreams and passion.

Passion, as defined by the Merriam-Webster online dictionary, is an intense desire or enthusiasm for something. Loyalty is defined as a powerful kind of faithfulness.

For me, they should co-exist. How can you operate in one without the other?

While we remain loyal to our family and their destiny, we must also remain loyal to our own. The Bible states in Matthew 25:22, that we are to be good and faithful (loyal) servants.  I fully believe if we are to be faithful (loyal) in serving God, we are to called to fulfil the purpose (passion) to which He has created us.

While we may make sacrifices in our lives for the betterment of our family, we should not abandon our purpose. We are required to be loyal to ourselves.

Sure, I know that we get so caught up in the affairs of raising our children and wanting them to do better than we did that we almost forget who we are. Well, it is time to find our way back to purpose instead of waiting until we are no longer needed.

You may think that there is not enough time for you to work toward your dreams and passion, but I promise you there is. You can start as simple, as devoting 15 minutes per day to figure out what you truly want for your life. Isn’t that better than never starting at all?

Here are 3 ways to reintroduce loyalty and passion into your life.

1. Reflect. Make a list of all the things you said you wanted to do, go back as early as you can remember even your high school days. What do you always find yourself thinking about doing? What are people always asking you to help with? Then narrow your list down to your top five items and go from there.

2. Schedule yourself time, for you. I mean it. Set your alarm starting in 15 minutes increments. Use that time to pray and meditate on that list and listen for clarity. Once you narrow down the direction, you want to take small daily action steps until being you start being loyal to implementing your dreams into your life.

3. Get support from your children or spouse. I believe at the end of the day they want you to be happy and would be willing to make sacrifices for you; the key is in asking.

I am walking into 2019 loyal and passionate about my dreams and I hope you will be too!

Telanna is a businesswoman and personal excellence coach.  Through her free resources and personal coaching, she helps moms manage their time effectively so can live out their purpose, by permitting themselves to do what they love.  Find her on your favourite social media platform @escapeyourmess.