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SexEd: Does the ‘G’ spot really exist?



Photo by John Rocha from Pexels

In 1950, Grafenberg discovered an area on the anterior wall (the wall closest to the belly button) of the vagina that is rich with nerve endings. The Grafenberg spot or G-spot was not used as a term to describe this area until 1982(!) and is thought to be located where the urethra, vagina and internal clitoris all intersect about 2.5 inches inside the vaginal canal.

Remember there is more to the clitoris than meets the eye as the internal structure can reach up to 5 inches wide, is dense with nerve endings and becomes erect when aroused generally producing some engorgement of the surrounding tissue. Stimulation of this area can produce pleasurable sensations for some vulva owners and it is likely that pleasure is derived from the stimulation of not just one structure, but multiple pleasure centres. Although still widely debated, stimulation of the ‘G’ spot is thought to be linked to vulval ejaculation. While most vulva owners have the capacity to ejaculate, it is reported that anywhere from 10-50% have actually ejaculated or squirted.

There are two types of vulval ejaculate – one is ejaculatory fluid which tends to be similar in colour to semen and squirting fluid which is slightly alkaline and generally colourless. This fluid can be ‘squirted’ out through the urethra before and/or during orgasm and it is believed to be produced by the Skene’s glands or what some now refer to as the female prostate. These glands are located on either side of the urethral opening. While squirt fluid is not pee and there is still a large debate around that, due to the proximity of the G-spot, stimulation of this area may make you feel as though you need to pee. If you choose to dabble with squirting, it is recommended that you take a quick trip to the ‘loo’ beforehand. Unlike what you see on porn, squirting doesn’t necessarily resemble Niagara Falls or a water hose used to put out a 5-alarm fire. It can be a dribble or a gush and is in no way superior to any other type of orgasm.

If you wish to try squirting here are a few tips:

• If you are worried about your bed sheets, lay a towel down. Some vulva owners experience shame or embarrassment from squirting because society has led us to believe sex should be ‘clean’ and therefore squirting feels more like wetting the bed rather than a physical response to stimulation of this area
• Focus your attention on the G-spot. Stimulation with a partner’s fingers in a ‘come here’ motion or a toy designed for G-spot stimulation (these generally have a slightly curved tip or head) are the easiest ways to find this area of nerve endings. The area can feel slightly spongy to the touch
• Flex your Kegel muscles which helps to build up the fluid in the Skene’s glands
• Relax. Muscle contractions occur during orgasm but it is important to relax your pelvic floor to release the built-up fluid. Contracting the pelvic floor can prevent the fluid from being ‘squirted’ from the urethra

Wetter isn’t necessarily better or worse and although squirting is viewed as the holy grail of ejaculation, it is not an indication of whether a person has enjoyed a sexual encounter or that their partner(s) should be elevated to the ranks of ‘sex legend’. It is perfectly normal if you do ejaculate. It is perfectly normal if you do not ejaculate. There is nothing wrong with you! Whether you wish to explore ejaculation by yourself or with a partner, the focus should be on pleasure and enjoying yourself. How each body experiences pleasure is unique to that person!

Elisha Miller is a sex educator and Director of 5 Circles Bermuda, which provides modern and inclusive sex positive education and awareness through discussions, workshops and events. Follow 5 Circles Bermuda on Instagram.