I think Wayne Dyer said it best, “Peace is the result of retraining your mind to process life as it is, rather than as you think it should be.”
It doesn’t feel right seeing yourself in a situation where you have no joy. People and things come to steal your peace like a thief in the night. When you have no harmony, it can feel like your entire world is falling apart. I love the peace that I have in my life, and if you’ve ever lost it, you know how sacred it is. In other words, I’m not here to play nice about it.
I don’t like to feel in conflict, so today I’m sharing the five go-to ways I use to preserve my peace. I hope this encourages you to create your own list and not settle for a life with no peace.
Pick your battles
Life isn’t always going to look like paradise or taste like a fresh cup of lemonade. We don’t always have to win, although we may want to. How has your desire to be right all the time served you in the past? Has it increased your level of peace when you’ve argued something to the point of no return?
Not every situation you encounter is going to be worth destroying your level of contentment. So, pick your battles wisely. We all have our pet peeves. Some more important than others; some beliefs that we are willing to die for and some that are just plain ole silly that we get all worked up about. Pick your battles wisely. Is it worth losing your peace? Will it even matter a year from now? Is something else driving your emotions? We may jump into a fight just because an opportunity has presented itself to vent about something that isn’t even connected to the situation. You may just need to lick your wounds and keep on keeping on preserving your peace.
Cultivate healthy mind habits
When you have no peace, you may experience a cluttered mind. You can’t think clearly about the situation because it seems auto play has been activated in your mind. You keep going through the motions, remembering the pain, wondering what you would have said differently, or just how pissed off you were.
But what if you made a choice you to pause and take your power back. One of my favourite activities for this is meditation and prayer. It helps you quiet your mind and allows space for new perspectives to enter. Journalling can also help here. Something that I do often is get a couple of sheets of paper and just write whatever is flowing through my mind. This is not the time for perfection just let the words flow no pauses, no breaks, no spell corrections. Sometimes you just need to check in with yourself.
One of my favourite personal sayings is, ” When in doubt, talk it out.”
I have conversations with myself, and it’s the best therapy when it comes to maintaining my peace. Sometimes we need to hear what is going on in our heads and then we get a whole new viewpoint.
Check your circle, then check it again
People will suck you dry, and I’m not talking about strangers, I mean the people you allow in your space. Check the relationships you have, how they make you feel when you are done spending time with them. Do you feel depleted? Are they always negative? You know the saying, you are known by the company you keep, decide what you want to be known for. I have boundaries, and I am not afraid to exercise them.
Maybe that means I love you from afar or I limit my level of interaction with you. Protect your peace at all costs even though that may mean some people have to go. You may be tolerating someone in your life right now, make the decision either let them go and help them to understand how they make you feel. The right people in your life will support and help you to protect your peace.
Do more of what you love
I had just gotten on a call with my mentor when he asked me, “What was the last fun thing you did for yourself?”
I paused for a minute because I couldn’t remember. His question kind of threw me off guard because most people ask about self-care, not fun. I enjoy spending time alone, but I seldom think about having fun alone. His question encouraged me a create a list of fun things I would like to do for me and alone. Spend more time doing what you love to create an atmosphere of peace in your life.
Less judgment, more grace
This can be a tough one because we have such high expectations of ourselves. When we do things that don’t quite align with our expectations, we are quick to judge ourselves with the label of good or bad. We push ourselves to reach our potential, and when we come up short, we overwhelm ourselves with guilt and shame. Protect your peace by understanding that grace is in the journey. Refuse to be a participant in negative self-talk. If you want peace, you must learn to become aware of your self-judgments.
There are countless methods you can use to preserve your peace, the key to remember is that it begins with you.
Telanna is a businesswoman and personal excellence coach. Through her free resources and personal coaching, she helps moms manage their time effectively so can live out their purpose, by permitting themselves to do what they love. Find her on Facebook and Instagram @purposemindedwoman and on Twitter @PurposeMWoman.