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From the mind of a man: He didn’t call after we had sex! Why?



Dear Mind Of A Man,

I met a guy and slept with him on same night we met. He said that he had a good time and no regrets. I’ve never heard from him since.

Why do men give mixed messages?


Dear In The Dark,

What did I miss?  Did he tell you more than what you’ve written here? He said that he had a good time and no regrets. Where’s the mixed message?  Just because he slept with you on the same night you met doesn’t imply he wanted more from you than a one night stand. A good time doesn’t equal more/continuous sex.  I think you read more into the sexual encounter than what it was intended to be – a one night stand.

What’s the lesson here? No, I’m not going to tell you you shouldn’t have had sex with the guy the same night you met him. I’m not judgemental like that – do you boo. The lesson here is:

  • If you are going to continue having one night stands or even casual sex, insist your partner(s) covers up. One thing you don’t want is to get an STD or pregnant from a one night stand. I advise all of my female friends to carry condoms in their purse in case he says, “oh, I don’t have a condom on me.”
  • Know what you are getting into before you do the deed. It’s best to know beforehand instead of feeling ‘dumped’ and wondering why haven’t you heard from him.

Did the two of you exchange numbers, email addresses? Does he know how to contact you?

Dear Mind of a Man,

Why are men so ambiguous? I’ve been seeing a guy for a few months. We are not a couple according to him, but he gets upset if someone is attracted me. I feel he wants the best of both worlds and it’s getting on my nerves. Why can’t he be real?


Dear Ambiguous,

He is being real!  Your male friend wants his cake and wants to eat it too. He is displaying traits of the male psyche. But on the flip side, just because you aren’t a couple doesn’t mean he doesn’t have some type of feelings for you.  Is he making any type of demands where he expects you not to talk to other guys? If he starts making that type of demand and he still views your situation as a non-couple, cut him loose.

Would you rather he have no emotional response when someone is attracted to you?   

Dear Mind of a Man,

How do I tell a guy to leave me alone? There’s a guy on Facebook who always inboxes me and he calls me honey and babe. I hate it because I feel like we are not on that level. I want to block him but I don’t want to be rude. Help!

Stay Out of my DM

Dear Stay Out of my DM,

First of all, what do you mean you feel like you are not on that level? Either you are or you aren’t on that level where he can refer to you as honey and babe.  If you aren’t on that level, 1. tell him to STOP inboxing you. 2. tell him to STOP referring to you as honey and babe. Also, he is giving you unsolicited and unwanted attention. How will you be rude if you block him?  You don’t have to be rude, but you don’t owe him an explanation. Block him and be done with it!

If you have a question for the Mind of A Male, email


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