I was speaking with a client the other day; she complained that the reason she hadn’t achieved more with her business was that she lacked support from the people in her life.
I wanted to give her this quote by Seth Godin, “Sooner or later, your work speaks for itself. Outlasting the critics feels like it will take a very long time. But you’re very patient then they are.”Most people in your life will not buy into your vision. They won’t support your dreams, buy your products, heck they won’t even share your Facebook posts, and that’s perfectly alright.
I know it’s annoying because these are usually the people who share your space. You know the ones that like your meaningless posts on social media, but then act like they didn’t see your post related to your business.
They are probably the ones who, in the past, have sought out your advice. They said thank you, went about their business and then you realized it wasn’t a scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours type of relationship. People can be jerks, and the struggle can be real, but to those people in the words of Cee lo Green, I say, “Forget you!”
What about the people who truly matter to you? The people you want to please; those whom you have a desire to engage in your life activities. It doesn’t feel great when people don’t support you, especially when you are entering a new venture and looking for the motivation to continue on the days that don’t look so bright.
Here are four practical things you can do when someone YOU care about doesn’t support your dreams, your vision, and your hustle.
1. SEEK TO UNDERSTAND WHY
Very rarely do we try to see situations from another perspective. We look through our lenses and form our opinions based on our experiences. It is not going to be any different for someone in your life. Consider what they believe and their life experiences. Did they try to start a business and was never able to get it off the ground?
Consider having a conversation with them. Ask your loved one to explain to you a failure which they have experienced . If people have not accepted that failure was a learning opportunity, you may need to help them see it. People will project their disappointments and failures on you because they are afraid that you may succeed when they were unable to. Open the conversation, by not disregarding how they feel, but instead asking why they think the way they do.
2. CREATE YOUR DEFENSE
Make them a believer. I remember many years ago when I was teaching a women’s Bible study, and we were discussing tithing. A young lady shared a story about how she got her husband who didn’t attend church to support her tithing. She said she asked him to let her tithe 10% of just her income for a year and if he didn’t see any change in their finances, she would stop. The lady said a year came and left and the husband never mentioned the tithing, why, because their finances had improved so much, he forgot.
Make them feel like they are a part of the process even if they aren’t. Involve them in your activities, share your goals and flaunt your wins. Ask them what level of information it would take for them to feel comfortable.
3. LET YOUR ACTIONS SPEAK
Let your words match your action. In other words, be about it. Let them see that you are committed to fulfilling your mission and dreams. You cannot expect that to support you when Netflix and chill has been your regime week after week. If you want them to buy into your goals, then you must buy into them as well.
When I finally decided to launch my coaching business, I bore witness to this playing out in my life. I had secured my domain Escape Your Mess in early 2016, but I never really took any action on it. It wasn’t until I fully launched and began putting the real work in that I saw my husband’s support increase. He saw me doing late nights and investing in programmes, so it was easy for him to get on board. There was no flip-flopping for me. I was in it to win it, and he believed it.
He supports me not necessarily in my business, but he gives me the time and space to get done what I need to succeed. That may be cooking, cleaning or picking up the kids, but because he sees me actioning, he is happy to help. I let him support me the best way he knows how.
4. BE CONTENT
Bye Bye! There will always be people that will never come into the light. Just accept it and move on. Success doesn’t come from what others do; it comes from the work you put in. Sure, it feels good to have people want to see you succeed, but at the end of the day, haters are gonna hate.
The most important thing you need to remember is that you don’t need their permission or approval to succeed. Remember these people although you love them will never be vested as much as you. Try to stay away from their negative vibes and live out your dreams.
Telanna is a businesswoman and personal excellence coach. Through her free resources and personal coaching, she helps moms manage their time effectively so can live out their purpose, by permitting themselves to do what they love. Find her on your favourite social media platform @escapeyourmess.